mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
