So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
