dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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