life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
