Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
