i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
