He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dignity is for republicans.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
