So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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