just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
