he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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