There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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