# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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