Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
