Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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