i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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