Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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