he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize