When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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