omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize