she kept yelling 'call me bella'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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