got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
