never play flip cup with pint glasses
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
