shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
