do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just google imaged poop.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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