I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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