seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
