I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
