This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
