I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
