so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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