im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
