billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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