is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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