In the future we'll all be gay
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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