my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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