My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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