we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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