Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
