I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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