mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
