omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
