Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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