I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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