what day is it and did you see me today?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize