I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
whose parrot is this?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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