love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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