the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
