Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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