1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Randomize
