dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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