It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
