party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
