I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
