i permit you to call me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
