i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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