how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
