I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
