I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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