your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
