You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i drank out of a bidet.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
