the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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