i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
